This isn't a real post, so don't get excited

The dog is sick.  Well, not really sick.  At least, not according to the $400 worth of tests we just ran at the after-hours vet clinic.  But she had multiple accidents inside the house today, wouldn't get out of bed this morning, and wouldn't even eat her breakfast OR a treat.  For any who have seen The Beagle inhale a bowl full of cat food in under 22 seconds, or witnessed a once-full pack of Oreos go missing in under and hour (without any teeth marks on the wrapping....I think my dog has retractable thumbs.), or know of Ellie's proclivity for hiding food morsels in her blankets, you will know that this behavior?  Is so far from normal.

The vet did several blood tests and x-rays:  he found her electrolyte levels normal, evidence of early onset spinal arthritis, and--apparently--a BB gun pellet lodged in her hip (a wound he assures me is several years old).

That little white dot on her rump?  The BB.

In case you wanted to see it from another angle.  Also?  Why did the vet give me a DVD of my dog's X-rays?  And how much of that $400 went towards this little keepsake?  I demand a recount.

I mean, who knew my dog was so gangsta?  It's official.  I'm giving her a tat, piercing her ear, and changing her name to Blaze, or something equally bad ass. 

(I would like to take this moment to point out that if you Google "thug names," the second recommended search--after "thug names for girls"--is "thug names for dogs."  What the hell, people?  Really?  ALSO?  There are a plethora of sites devoted to "_________ name generator."  Pirate, thug, gangster, taxi driver, even vampire.  Go here; you'll be entertained for hours.  And don't ask me how I know this.  Or better yet, you can just thank me for providing you with something to do at work next week.)

Anyway, all of this to say that I am now too tired to do a real post, much less wash dishes, do laundry, or cook a real dinner.  Soup, cheese, and crackers for dinner it is.  Dishes?  You'll have to wait until tomorrow.  And laundry?  Well, let's face it, it'll probably just be easier to buy new clothes.

Huh.  Whaddya know?  This kind of is a real post...  You're welcome, K-Max.